Something I've repeatedly noticed is that the best way to learn something is to teach it. I believe that concept works because you are keeping your attention focused on your desired learning. The very fact that we need to impart knowledge about something makes us continually think about and, where necessary, fine-tune it. We are forced to think about the topic and keep working on it.

The same is true when we give others what we need. It's an interesting phenomenon that when we start thanking others or acknowledging what they've done for us, we start feeling thanked or acknowledged. In fact, when working with clients on needs (that is, those feelings or qualities that throw us off balance because we're not getting them), I recommend several approaches to getting those needs satisfied. One is to ask others to fill them (yep, come right out and ask for it!). Another is to start giving whatever it is to others. The odd thing is that whether or not the feeling is reciprocated, we actually start feeling that quality ourselves.

Understanding the difference between 'getting' acknowledged and 'feeling' acknowledged (or whatever feeling you're lacking) is the first step. Once you get the distinction, look for opportunities to give that feeling to others. Life truly is in your control.

Louise Morganti Kaelin, Life Success Coach

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