posted by VJ on Dec 31

Whew!  I feel like I’ve wasted half the day struggling with html code.  Blech!

Anyway, I’ve just done an update on one of my pages, and I’m sharing the newest material here as well.

The page describes our preferred communication style, and it’s located at on this page from my main site.

Here’s what was updated:

Dr. Linda Berens talks about how our communication style is “hard-wired” — it’s not only the words we use, it’s how clearly we telegraph our wishes.  So without getting hung up on specific content — ask yourself whether you’re a person who naturally causes people to jump into action (or cease action instantly), or whether you normally eschew that kind of delivery. 

Following is a 5-minute video that illustrates hard-wired differences between directing and informing via movement. You might want to view it multiple times in order to discern the differences.

For the record, I aspire to do sheaves, and yet I confess that my body seems better suited to chopping. I could have been a flight attendant or a traffic cop. (I was a cheerleader!) Don’t overlook how directing I am with Pete — I practically pick him up to move him where I want him to be. Sigh!

After the viewing, I invite you to participate in my poll (pardon the weird coloring):

I’d be delighted to hear how helpful you found this information to be. :-)

7 Comments to “A Directing / Informing Update”

  1. Charles Says:

    Hi Vicky Jo,
    Thanks for sharing a very informative video. Trying out the two actions myself I have to say that the chopping action felt much more natural and I seemed to make even the “gathering” action somewhat staccato. Certainly I am somewhat directive in communication style since I provide the recipient with an intended course of action, even if I try to tone the request down to make it more acceptable/kind or polite.
    Are there any other similar body language/gestures that can be used to aid with determining other interaction styles? I observe that as you and Robin are both “chart the course” you both seem to prefer the “chopping” as well. Is there a similar approach that can be used to highlight some of the differences, say , between the INTJ and INFJ?

    Best regards,
    Charles [INFJ]

  2. VJ Says:

    Charles -
    I’m glad you found the video informative!
    I’m a little fuzzy about your question. If we stay with the interaction style model, there are some minor differences between INFJ and INTJ within the same style.

    For instance, the INFJ theme is “foresight.” They like “developing and guiding people to fulfill their latent potential as well as developing programs that get well-thought-out results.” INFJs tend to “illuminate,” and they often “foresee how people will respond.”

    In contrast, the INTJ theme is “conceiving of new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things that give a strategic advantage.” INTJs will “give guidance,” and tend to “conceptualize an end result.”

    So even within the same interaction style, there are slight differences between these two patterns.

    The differences become more obvious in the temperament model, of course, and even more obvious in the MBTI model and in the cognitive process model (dichotomies & 8-functions).

    As far as other physical gestures go…..? None come to mind for me, although perhaps Dr. Berens would know of some. (She is familiar with the “whole pattern” of every type — it’s amazing.)

    The only physical difference that comes quickly to mind between me and Robin is that I am much more graceful than Robin mostly, AND I am very aware of other people around me. Robin is much more inclined to elbow someone or step on their foot than me — by accident of course! The point is that he just isn’t as aware of other people around him. I don’t know if that’s true of all INTJs though.

    Does this help? Let me know!

  3. anonymous Says:

    I’m an INFJ and clearly demonstrate “directing style” in my communication. But with this exercise, I felt markedly more comfortable with the “sheaves” action. Perhaps my ballet training (when I was young) is partly to blame. But I also felt more harmonious doing the “sheaves” action– isn’t that representative of INFJs also?

  4. VJ Says:

    I like the way you say that — “harmonious.” I think that’s what shows up for me too. I soooo aspire to do “sheaves.” It doesn’t feel UNcomfortable to me to make that motion. But they tell me that I don’t do it as smoothly as Pete, that I’m kinda jerky as my arms come around.

    I think my directing is more obvious when I push Pete around. (He probably didn’t find that harmonious! :-O)

  5. Austen Wilson Says:

    This was very informative! The chopping felt more natural for me. I am a choral conductor and the video gave me insight about my strengths and where I need work. It only confirmed that I need to work on the sheaves movement. My advisor has been trying to get me to develop smoother gestures – mine are sometimes choppy when I don’t intend them to be!

  6. Charles Says:

    Hey Vicky – Jo,
    Thanks for the reply. You certainly more than answered my question with some great insights as always. :) I am sorry that my original enquiry, as phrased, was confusing but you did a wonderful job of answering it anyway.

    Best regards,
    Charles [INFJ].

  7. Says:

    Hi there I like your post

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