posted by VJ on Aug 1
I’ve been meaning to set up an INFJ blog for some time now, but two things stopped me:
1) The blog listing “INFJ” was already taken on blogger.com. And there’s no contact information for me to whine and try to pry it away from the current owner. So I couldn’t have the name I really wanted. So that stopped me in my tracks for a while.
Then…
2) I couldn’t figure out how to organize a blog. With my INFJorINFP blog, I simply created a blog entry for every page on the site, and invited people to post their comments about each page. That was it was automatically organized.
There are a lot more pages on INFJ.com. What to do, what to do….
I’m just going to throw this blog up for now and see where it goes. I’m always wanting to change things, so I’ll just roll with the punches for now and see what happens. I’ll try to “Dance in the moment,” as we coaches like to say.
It’s funny how much you can get to happen once you lower your standards and let go of the need to be prepared for everything. I don’t *always* have to see around corners.
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:20 pm
I think this is a very good idea! I’m exicted to see how this unfolds. A blog allows those who don’t like joining web groups (like me) to post, be it one comment or a hundred.
I don’t have anything important to say at the moment.I just wished to impart some encouragement. I hope this blog meets all expectations!
~Vicki Turner
August 18th, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Glad to see you’re finally in the Blogosphere, as we bloggers call it. This is Mari, we’ve emailed at length last year and I’m still so thankful for the advice you’ve given me. I’ve certainly grown since last year, but am still studying accounting! With my own home-based business, I’m much more satisfied with the career!
September 23rd, 2006 at 10:16 am
I’m looking forward to interaction with more INFJ types. Did a test yesterday and it came back as INFJ. After reading the results, I realized that it’s a mirror of my personality! How wierd.
How many INFJ’s out there feel as if they live in a world of their own, and talk to themselves?
They make good counselors, but do they not have a clear idea as to their own future…….seems like me. I can clearly see and connect all facts to analise a persons situation – but not my own. Too emotionally involved.
Glad to have this opportunity to connect.
September 23rd, 2006 at 11:23 am
Hey there…
right now it may seem like a “mirror” of your personality, but it’s possible the “test” is one or two letters off, albeit close enough to feel like it’s “you.” As you work with it and learn more about the model, you may discover the shoe doesn’t fit QUITE as well as you first thought — so I suggest you keep your mind open until you’ve learned a whole lot more before deciding you’ve found your best fit.
Have fun exploring the model!
October 14th, 2006 at 11:16 am
“whine and try to pry it away from the current owner”.
Thats not very nice – share and share alike – you’re not the only infj in the world.
October 14th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
In the first place, I never said I was the only INFJ in the world. In the second place, what’s wrong with that? There are plenty of things I want that other people have — so if wanting what others have isn’t “nice,” then I’m not “nice” at all!
Makes me wonder what YOU want that you’re making yourself wrong for.
???
October 25th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Hi VJ
Found your INFJ site the other day and very impressed with its comprehensive nature.
However I didn’t find the thing that I was looking for – hobbies!
Are there any particular hobbies that appeal to the inquisitive INFJ.
Thanks for any assistance you may be able to give
November 27th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
As a young INFJ trying to carve out a place in this world, I’m looking forward to reading this blog. Thanks for your website, the content has been helpful!
December 5th, 2006 at 10:27 am
An answer to the need to “withdraw.” I feel that it might just be a healthy act of self-balancing. Absorbing other emotions that do not aline with my own, can tip me to an unbalanced state.(lose my vision of the goal, the line between my feelings and theirs, gets too gray) I believe this is only a heathly reaction that also, lies within both Extravets and Introvets. Thanks for your site-it’s very helpful!
December 5th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
I’m not sure why you brought this up exactly…..? But years ago I had someone draw my attention to the word “just.” It’s an interesting word that seems to minimize something whenever it is employed. (As in “I’m just trying to help” — which usually means something big is going on at the meta level.)
So I notice you say it’s “just” a healthy act of self-balancing. Okay. So it IS a healthy act of self-balancing. For INFJs anyway — that might not be true for everybody. What’s wrong with that?
If you’re noticing it about the Chart-the-Course interaction style, I would disagree. In that model, it’s an important movement that allows INFJs to fulfill a deeper need: the need to anticipate. If we can’t withdraw to create a plan for ourselves, it causes major stress. So in that case, it isn’t “just” anything — it’s a source of enormous tension!
So I guess I’d need to know more about why you wrote that in order to understand what you’re getting at.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:08 am
Hello!
I found you via my hubby who’s on intj-c with yours.
Your INFJorINFP site served to broaden my understanding of MBTI and has gotten me quite intrigued about Linda Berens’ and John Beebe’s models.
Heck I’d just love to hear some ramblings about life as an infj from other infjs.
May 9th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Vicki, I appreciate your site. However, you seem to talk down to people and act like you’re the only INFJ on the planet. You don’t know everything INFJ, so stop it please.
May 10th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Now THERE’S some constructive criticism [not].
I imagine that whomever wrote this (anonymously) must not be feeling very good about themselves to take it out on me like that.
To them I say, “I hope your life gets better!” ;-D
May 24th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Hello Vicky Jo,
I’m an INFJ, and I’ve noticed some interesting things about myself. On infj.com, you said that using Fe tends to make INFJ’s feel like they lose a sense of self, and that critics say that we should focus on developing Fi, or “being more selfish” (sadly, I can’t find the topic on infj.com that this is under.)
I’ve found, however, that I tend to not lose my authenticity when interacting with others when I focus on my goals, where I want to be, etc. (Ni). I’ve gotten over that hurdle, but the thing that gets me most is that I am willing to do anything for my friends and family, which mostly means I end up spending lots of time with them (they’re mostly extraverts.) That’s not bad, but I find myself disoriented after a time, and, although I’m not always drained, I do lack the clarity of outlook that I normally have. To me, it seems that my weakest function (Si) gives me more problems, because I don’t know when I need time for myself, or what I need to do for myself daily in order to be a healthy individual.
I’ve sort of dealt with this by looking for a model (ha, Ti) to live by in terms of taking care of myself (like a daily exercise plan for the body, reading the bible for the spirit, and positive reinforcement for my mind). I feel that if I can get a good system for taking care of myself and consistently do it, then that problem will be taken care of. Do you have any thoughts?
May 24th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Henry –
thanks for your comments. I’m thrilled you are taking the 8-function model to heart. It’s SO rich!
What shows up for me is a question mark around whether you are defining one of your behaviors accurately.
You write, To me, it seems that my weakest function (Si) gives me more problems, because I don’t know when I need time for myself, or what I need to do for myself daily in order to be a healthy individual.
It shows up for me that this sounds like an Fi problem, not an Si problem. Fi is about you needing to take care of you, being aware of your own needs, being in touch with yourself, and giving yourself priority.
A book I like for helping around that issue is Cheryl Richardson’s “Take Time For Your Life.” I also like “Yes or No” by Spencer Johnson (hard to read, but worth it at the end). I feature a couple of pages on INFJ.com about taking care of oneself and how it gives us the strength we need to continue taking care of others. (“Do for you so you can do for others.”) And this is why I like working with a coach — they make sure I keep ME as a priority, and always demand the best from me.
As far as dealing with the problem of Si goes? I’m still sorting that one through for myself. I hate thinking about the past, and want to avoid it at all costs, even to the point of having few childhood memories. I’m also noticing how I often don’t eat properly (or regularly), I dislike visiting the doctor, and I don’t brush my teeth or take vitamins regularly. Most of all, I greatly resist putting things away properly. (When my husband and I return from a trip, it’s like pulling teeth to get unpacked.)
Those are some of the obvious ways demonic Si manifests in my life, especially when I can’t find something important.
Does this trigger any insights for you?
May 25th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Vicky–
Yes, I like the 8-function model. Its much richer than just looking at 4 letters :). Your comments do trigger some insights.
To clarify, I don’t think my problem is figuring out what I value and need. When I put forth the effort, I can somewhat recognize what my needs and wants are.
The problem, then, is not knowing when my needs are not being met. I figured that this had to do with Si-I am not sensing what is going on inside my self (or not remembering/recognizing what it feels like to have all my needs met.)
I guess its kind of like taking a shower. I know that taking a shower is important to me (Fi), and I make an effort to get in the shower every day. Its just that when I get in the shower, I can’t tell whether the water is on or off (Si).
Your second to last paragraph describes it perfectly. You’ve already figured out that being healthy is important to you, but you still find it difficult to go to the doctor regularly, brush and take vitamins regularly, and eat properly (I have the same patterns). Why? For me, its because I don’t feel much different (i.e. sense any changes) when I don’t do these things, even though they’re important to me. But whether we sense it or not, the need isn’t getting met. I guess we’re both kind of dealing with the same thing…
Any thoughts or suggestions?
May 26th, 2007 at 1:40 am
Henry,
I’m going to continue fencing with you, sorry.
You write, The problem, then, is not knowing when my needs are not being met.
So that begs the question, how does one know when their needs are being met (or not)?
And the answer to that question keeps showing up in my book as Fi. Dya follow my logic? Fi knows what is important to you (aka knows when your needs are being met).
Now later you write, You’ve already figured out that being healthy is important to you, but you still find it difficult to go to the doctor regularly, brush and take vitamins regularly, and eat properly (I have the same patterns). Why? For me, its because I don’t feel much different (i.e. sense any changes) when I don’t do these things, even though they’re important to me. But whether we sense it or not, the need isn’t getting met.
What shows up for me is that just because the DENTIST says I should brush and floss 3x a day doesn’t make it important to me. It’s something being imposed from outside me, not from my own internal value system. Thus, not brushing doesn’t really qualify as a “need not getting met.”
If I decide brushing my teeth IS important, and so I decide I’m going to do it, then I have tricks I can use on myself to Ensure I Do It. But it has to emanate from my deciding it’s important, not from being TOLD it’s important.
And that’s the thing about the Shadow. We don’t DO things we don’t care about because we have internal resistance. And until we develop our “consciousness” around the shadowy parts, we will simply discount or dismiss them.
So in that respect, your question doesn’t make logical sense?
If something IS important to you (Fi), then you have to make space for the thing (more Fi, perhaps partnered with other processes). If it is NOT important to you naturally, then you’ll have to get it to become important before you gain the leverage to change it. Thus, Fi becomes the “gateway” to developing our shadow processes.
What do you think of that as an answer?
I wonder whether we would make better progress if you gave me a single item you’ve decided is important but isn’t happening. Give me a fer instance to play with.
PS: Being able to tell whether or not water is off in the shower would require Se, not Si. It’s a pretty immediate experience.
May 26th, 2007 at 4:51 am
Vicki,
I love a good discussion, no problem.
First, I said The problem, then, is not knowing when my needs are not being met. As you state, the question begged is
how does one know when their needs are being met (or not)?
I see your logic, but I think you’re skipping a step. Fi is a judging function. Can any judging function work if there is no information to judge? From what I’ve studied so far, no. My problem is that I do not perceive that my needs are not being met. The Si function perceives what’s going on in the present and compares it to the past–so if I don’t remember/recognize what it feels like to have all my needs met, then I won’t know when they are met.
I believe you’re saying that I need to effectively judge if my needs ar e being met. I’m saying that I can’t effectively judge if my needs are being met, because I can’t get accurate information.
As for a particular situation, lets use your example of taking vitamins regularly. I’m saying that I can’t tell the difference (read: feel the bodily effects) when I do or don’t take the vitamins (Si). You’re saying the problem is Fi, because I can understand that taking vitamins is important to me.
Someone with a strong Si would think “I can sense the difference in my body when I don’t take vitamins (Si), so I’m going to decide that it is important to take vitamins (Fi).”
I see your logic, that you can simply use Fi to circumvent Si. If it logically makes sense that taking vitamins is better for you, then you can use Fi to determine that as important to you. To me, in this situation, it seems as if Fi would be stronger from sensing the difference in your body rather than using logic to determine importance.
Does my question still not make sense?
P.S. For the shower analogy, I mixed the intent of the analogy with the contents therein. Let’s say that the shower is alone time, and that the water is my mind unwinding. Does it work now?
May 26th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Henry -
I’m GLAD you welcome a good discussion, thanks!
You say, Can any judging function work if there is no information to judge?
And I’ll concede that point.
SO… clearly there is inadequate introverted Sensing perception going on. Right?
I mean, you get hints, you get clues, and other things kind of nag at you (like the dentist warning you or something), but it’s a pretty weak signal you’re picking up.
So how do you take care of an introverted Sensing NEED?
Putting my coach hat on, I’m wanting to make a distinction between a “should,” a “need,” and a “want.”
There are things we SHOULD do, things we NEED to do, and things we WANT to do.
Do you agree with those distinctions?
So… what I make up is that you have to convert SHOULDS and NEEDS to WANTS in order to achieve them. (This is Simple Coach Logic 101.)
Perhaps I *should* brush my teeth; perhaps I *need* to brush my teeth; but until I *WANT* to brush my teeth, it isn’t likely to happen.
Ergo, I believe one must use Fi as leverage (“this is important to me and I want it for myself”).
Now, the truth is, we all have things in our lives that we *should* do and that we *need* to do. And we rarely act on them. Instead, we just make ourselves feel lousy for NOT acting on them. That’s classic Human Being.
When we bring the issue out of the shadows and frame it as an “I want,” that’s when we can make different choices and do things differently. From this space, we can “out-smart ourselves.”
So if you say to me, “I WANT to brush my teeth regularly,” we can work with that. We might do a cost-benefit analysis on the problem. We can discover how much better you will feel about yourself once you honor this new habit. We can build a structure that supports this aspiration. Perhaps we’ll create a daily spreadsheet to track your progress. Maybe we’ll give you gold stars for successfully keeping it up for a week, a month, a year. Perhaps you will report to somebody (like a buddy, or a coach) how well you are progressing every week so as to have some encouragement and accountability. Maybe you build in a penalty — if you fail, you must contribute a large sum of money to something you dislike, such as your NONpreferred political party. And it’s a BIG CHECK, so it will REALLY HURT if you have to keep that commitment.
These are some of the ways you can realize the things you WANT in your life.
How does this land?
By the way, I suspect I use my Ni to compensate for my lack of Si. In other words, like you, I can’t tell the difference in how my body feels from one day to the next. But I confess I do have an *inner knowing* sometimes that I’m not taking care of myself. So my Ni and Se become a “gateway” through which I acquire Si consciousness. (I think that’s what I do anyway!) Then I have to turn to Fi to remind me that I deserve to take care of myself.
How’s this sounding?
PS: I still don’t follow your shower analogy.
June 6th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Thank you, and you-know-what-for. When I was able to finally “get past myself”; what you had and have to teach…it really opens a whole new place of freedom and joy for me to look toward to! Many lessons learned! Please continue the great work that you do!
Many thanks again! All I can say is WOW! I can now be honestly humble and proud of being of the INFJ temperament.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:25 am
i dont know but you are deviating from the true MBTI as I have read from your website. you mislead other people with your own subjective treatment of the personalities. you’re not even a psychologist. you just attended seminars. I should say you’re a fake. twisted. and so delusional thinking that you are some kind of guru that innovates psychology. darn fool!
July 6th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
You’re absolutely right! I’m not a psychologist, and I don’t deal with the “real MBTI,” which is merely a trademark for a psychological instrument (hardly a power of God). I’m only a certified life coach, who has been qualified and certified with the MBTI (and have been using it for over ten years). The MBTI construction is based on four dichotomies, while the MODEL of type is infinitely more complex and glorious. And I focus on THAT with my writings and websites.
As far as being “delusional,” the philosophies I subscribe to with the psychological type model happen to coincide with the evolving views of Katharine Myers, co-guardian of the MBTI along with her ex-husband Peter Myers. She was given trust of it by her mother-in-law, Isabel Briggs-Myers. Kathy is also a friend, and has invited my husband and I to attend advanced type events. So I figure if Kathy is encouraging this “deviation,” then there’s something valuable in it!
Last but not least, Isabel Briggs-Myers stated, “The purpose of the MBTI is to make the theory of psychological types by C.G. Jung practical and useful.” Given it is a well-known Jungian at the cutting edge in this field (Dr. John Beebe, who pioneered the eight-level model and the intrapsychic use of type), it seems reasonable for that discipline to develop this field of psychological types. It is continually re-connected back to Jung’s seminal work in this area, so antecedents are never ignored.
I wonder what triggered this ad hominem attack…..? You seem to be in the grip of… something.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Vicki,
It makes me smile to read what you write back to people when they attack you. Especially when you said that “if wanting what others have isn’t “nice” then i’m not nice at all!” As a teenage girl that means a lot to me; my girlfriends and I all feel this ‘need to be nice’ that we think is being shoved down our throats by the media, especially teen-girl magazines.
Really what I’m saying is thank you for standing up for yourself instead of being submissive and “nice”, it’s good to have an example like that to help me see that it’s right to stand up for myself too.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Hello there –
I’m quite new to all this type-stuff and not very educated in my terminology. I do have a question…and will ask it in plain everyday language (since I don’t fully comprehend the Fi, Se, etc…language yet)…I will preface the question with this…
I’m pretty much convinced that I’m INFJ from the “tests” I’ve taken and descriptions I’ve read. I do feel a little more “okay, this is why I’ve experienced these things in life” since reading over & processing this information. I guess my question is…
Is it an INFJ characteristic to become emotionally overwhelmed by hearing or seeing things on television — such as a 9/11 special — even though I know it is over and in the past? I realize the “threat” is still present…but I get so overcome with the emotions behind the stories portrayed that I cannot continue watching and have to go to great lengths to “switch my mind off” — or think on something else. I tend to feel physical anxiety that is very uncomfortable. This can also happen when I watch fictional movies — even though I know it isn’t really happening. Is this an INFJ thing or a personal thing in me?
Thanks in advance for your responses,
B
August 27th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Goodness, I don’t know. If watching a TV special leaves you on the floor sobbing helplessly, I’d want to take a look at that…..? It is very disproportionate! On the other hand, I confess Hallmark commercials used to make me cry, especially when I was experiencing PMS. I became a fountain!
I guess I need to know more about your experience — how debilitating is it, etc. Does it need attention? To me, it sounds possible you are simply responding empathically to what’s being shown. Ostensibly, any of the Catalysts are likely to do that. I avoid horror films and no longer watch TV so I can maintain control over what I’m exposed to. The worst experiences for me are when somebody starts reciting gory details about an injury or surgery. My mother had some fluid drained out of her breast with localized anesthetic, and I nearly fainted hearing her recitation of the experience! And I frequently admonish my INTJ husband for telling me things he heard on the radio that wreck my mood. I cannot just shrug some of that stuff off — it lingers, painfully. (And that’s why we don’t talk about gross things at meal-times, right??)
Does this help you?
August 27th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Hmmm…I guess I need to clarify…no, I’m not helplessly sobbing on the floor. I just have an inner anxiety that is very uncomfortable and have trouble not thinking about it. It does have that lingering – hard to shrup off effect you wrote about. Hallmark commercials — or other stuff like that is emotional for me…I do find myself choked up, knot in my throat or actually crying at times. It doesn’t seem to be hormonal though!
I try to avoid sad/depressing movies — no matter how great people seem to think they are when recommending them to me. (My preference is a comedy!) For instance, years and years ago when I saw “The Elephant Man”…what an incredible story…had a profound message…but just awhile back it was on tv and my grown daughter wanted to watch it with me. I couldn’t do it. The feelings just affect me too much — and linger for some time. I feel the need to shelter myself from the emotional impact.
I’m a very passionate person and emotions do not “scare” me. I feel that if it were not for times of sadness — I wouldn’t appreciate the times of great joy — and so on. So…I really don’t understand it.
August 28th, 2007 at 2:02 am
Hm, I feel like I totally “get it,” and yet I don’t know what you need….? If a movie is depressing, why shouldn’t you be depressed? Let me suggest you are a sensitive instrument, like a beautiful viola.
Now, if you put two violas in a room together, albeit on opposite sides of the room (and the acoustics are adequate), plucking the string of one viola will cause the same string on the other viola to play as well. They resonate together.
So… if a character in a film is feeling something strong, or the movie is channelling something powerful, you’re like that viola! You’re playing that same string!
Sometimes this may be a cathartic experience; other times it can be intrusive. But it’s real, baby, real.
Here’s a similar situation for me: my husband and I have travelled all over the world, and I’ve done more than my fair share of sightseeing. Well… in most major cities in the world there is invariably a Holocaust Museum. And you know what? I’ve never visited one, not a single one. I simply *cannot* jump out of bed and joyfully say, “I’m so looking forward to visiting a Holocaust Museum today!” Like you, I’d much rather see a comedy than a depressing drama any day — even films I really WANT to see because Dr. Beebe has analyzed it (“Blue Velvet”). (Some filmmakers I avoid altogether because their work invariably disturbs me.)
And sometimes there is powerful emotional “residue” from receiving a powerful story. Like you, I couldn’t bear to watch “Elephant Man” again without a really good reason (like wanting my nephews to see it). I’d be crying before the opening credits finished!
Maybe a bad metaphor is to compare it to hemophiliacs. I mean, if you’re a “bleeder,” you avoid certain activities. Skateboarding is just a bad idea. So… why shouldn’t it be that an empath would steer clear of anything which might emotionally shipwreck their day? Consider it like a food allergy.
I’m not afraid of emotion either. I have a background in theatre, and I sometimes astonish people at how quickly I can express tears or anger during a cold reading. When I took a course in relationship coaching, they said I was a “natural” because others getting upset didn’t faze me. So it’s not about that.
It IS about self-preservation, and designing my life so I’m not a target for whatever emotional event happens to come along. (In like fashion, I consciously choose not to spend time in the company of melancholy or grumpy people.)
I guess if I were to ladle out advice for you, it might be that if you are suffused with feeling strongly about something, CELEBRATE! It means you are ALIVE. Don’t “should” on yourself, don’t put yourself down, don’t “pull yourself out of it” — give IN to it 100% and let it run its course (unless it’s depression, anger, or obsession, that is). FEEL every bit of it 100% and give thanks to the Universe for letting you feel such a wondrous spectrum of emotions, especially compared to some people whose range of feeling is a narrow bandwidth that barely allows for any experience at all. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. (As a coach, sometimes I cry together with my clients, and I let them know how they are affecting me. This can be a powerful reflection back to them, validating them like nobody’s business.)
Does this get any closer to addressing your question….?
August 29th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Hi Vicky,
I have only recently become interested in the MBTI personality types and have been doing a lot of reading on each one. On every test I have taken, except one, I have come out INFJ. Every description I have read of INFJ has been spot on. I’m not in love with the idea of being ‘misunderstood’, rather it’s a bit of a burden.
I was wondering though, although no other description seems to fit me even close to as well as the INFJ type… I have never read anything relating to an INFJ sense of humor. I have a bizarre, observant and dry sense of humor and it seems to be what would make the most sense for INFJs as a whole.
I am just starting to read up on all this, so I apologize if there is any ignorance.
(Normally I would also doubt the validity of descriptions I have read pertaining to me. However, it’s not simply the accuracy of the INFJ profile that has convinced me, it’s the inaccuracy of all others.)
August 30th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Welcome to an infinitely rich and fascinating field of exploration. The main character is…. you! YAY!
Here’s the thing to know about INFJ. It doesn’t tell you who you are — it tells you what you’re naturally good at. Surprise! (This is different than what 75% of the other type enthusiasts will tell you. So call me radical. ;-D)
Thus the question isn’t so much, “am I an INFJ?” as the question is, “do I DO INFJ”?
If you think you *are* INFJ, you may get hung up on descriptions that say you’re misunderstood, unique, rare, psychic, and so on. If you think you *do* INFJ, you may notice how you almost can’t STOP yourself from iNtuiting as a way of life. You can’t hardly help putting other people’s feelings ahead of your own. And so on…. INFJ describes your habitual strategies of cognition — mental habits.
As far as sense of humor goes…..? Hmmmm…. I think most INFJs I know like to enjoy life, and a “sense of humor” sometimes provides another “perspective” on a situation. In contrast, it seems like those who prefer extraverted iNtuiting often want things to be “fun,” meaning they want to be able to “play” with fun possibilities.
As far as what kind of humor INFJs prefer, I think I’ve read authors describing that before, but it’s not something I’ve tracked closely. Certainly I occasionally crack up over things which only I imagine, which may create problems.
Last but not least, since you’re new to this realm — the MBTI is the name of the instrument designed by Isabel Briggs-Myers and her mother, Katharine. It’s not the name of the model that informs it. As Isabel said, the instrument was intended to make Jung’s theory of psychological types accessible and useful. When in doubt, revisit Jung.
Welcome to type!
August 30th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Thanks for your answer. (I am the one you just responded to.) I suppose if you want to use the term “do” instead of “be” that would be more accurate.
It’s not the rare misunderstood blah blah unique snowflake stuff that makes me think I ‘do’ INFJ. Rather, it’s the broad spectrum.
Strangely enough, I have come up ONCE as ENFP, a long while ago in my mid-teens, and their apparent sometimes giddy humor is the only thing that strikes me as reminiscent of myself. That is why I asked about INFJ humor – if they can have giddy tendencies at rare moments as well.
I figure that I may have been in an exceptionally good mood, and had not fully ‘become myself’ quite yet at the time I had gotten ENFP.
I suppose senses of humor will vary even within individual types.
Your website is very informative and I have spent hours reading it so far. Thank you for making this resource!
August 30th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
I’m glad if my website has helped you. Just to set the cat amongst the pigeons, I have met a number of ENFPs who imagined they had INFJ prefs, so it’s not unheard of. (And if they get attached to all that “unique snowflake” stuff you alluded to, heaven help you trying to set them straight!). ;-D
September 15th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Hey there –
It obviously has been awhile since I’ve had time to get back here to your blog. Thanks for your response. It makes sense. I guess I was just wondering if my experience was typical of INFJs…?…
I’m the “Elephant Man” & Hallmark commercial person.
Thanks,
“B”
September 15th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
What shows up for me is that two things are going on. One is the heightened emotion. That seems somewhat typical, although it’s hard to gauge from an email description. The second thing is your “judgment” about it. Is that typical? I dunno. What’s your gender, your age, your culture? If you’re a guy and the culture you live in treats that as “wrong,” then it would be much harder to “contain” than a woman who lives in a hippie community in California. Y’follow? Answering the question requires a lot more context. Does that help?
October 30th, 2007 at 6:00 am
I’m new to all of this INFJ thing, but it feels like someone is just typing up a description of me. Feels abit wierd.
It would be great to talk to more INFJ’s. Looking forward to seeing how this will progress.
December 21st, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I have visited your site before, and found it very interesting. SO much of the information speaks to me. In particular, I am struggling with offering assistance now that “my” students are all in “regular” classes. I relate well to my students, but I seem to irritate adults without even trying! Unfortunately, my job is to consult, collaborate and coach other teachers.
The “I’m JUST trying to HELP!” statement really gave me a chuckle. That is the trap I’ve fallen into at this point.
I am especially interested in how naturally coaching came to you??? The special education cooperative has given us training on coaching. In theory, I think it is fantastic, but our teachers are very traditional. They have flat out said that brain-based research is a load of hooey! I truly am an outsider, and my normal withdrawl behavior will not work in this situation.
June 6th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I recently took the test to find that I am an INFJ, and after reading the results I realized how dead on they were. I’ve always known who I am and how I think but I’ve never been able to describe it in words. Reading the descriptions of INFJ helped me articulate who I am. I think it’s great that you set up this website and I look forward to talking to other INFJ like me because I always believed that no one “gets” me but now I feel like I’m not alone.
June 6th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Congratulations on starting your self-discovery journey! Just remember that the “test” does not give you your type — in your initial enthusiasm you may be overlooking some key aspects that might indicate another pattern could be a better fit. It happens all the time — my last 5 clients came to me mis-typed and confused about their pattern.
I hate sounding a sour note of caution in the face of your enthusiasm — and yet I believe it’s so vital to do careful, diligent validation. That’s the whole reason CPP requires a *live* facilitation process be done with each official MBTI assessment (and you thought it was just so practitioners made more money :-P). Just one letter off can make a great deal of difference, and most novices have no idea what to look for — or even think to question their assessment result.
And that’s why I say “congratulations” on *starting* your journey of self-discovery. There’s soooo much to learn — I’m still learning the model myself, and I’ve been on it for over ten years. I try to support learning through my INFJ.com website. I hope you find it helpful.