are some ideas I've randomly collected along the way, and have yet to integrate
into the rest of the site:
become upset when they aren't acknowledged for their contributions (a product
of extraverted Feeling). They really need to be acknowledged, and they
often model this acknowledgement for others. (If you've ever been
acknowledged by extraverted Feeling, you know what it feels like.)
From John Beebe:
hardly any reason that one can see evidently in this culture why anyone
should be an introverted intuitive. I mean, absolutely nobody is putting out the welcome mat for that function. And
of course our culture suffers terribly from its lack of vision. I mean
terribly, absolutely terribly."
intuition is... for seeing archetypes."
"Ni has a way of 'folding in' the other [processes/archetypes].'"
"Ni is very close to the unconscious--they can fall into the
unconscious. It's a danger."
"Ni opens up the Collective Conscious."
"Ni has a sense of the inevitable, the sense of mystery"
I had the
privilege of hearing Leona Haas (INFJ) speak at an APT meeting, and
she got off several "potshots."
observed that people with extraverted Feeling tend to remember people's
birthdays and special events and make sure to honor them. And then,
when it's the person with Fe's birthday, nobody remembers them back.
identified Hallmark, the company, as an extraverted Feeling company
(compared to IBM, which is an extraverted Thinking company).
Beebe says extraverted Feeling is concerned with the effect one has on
others. He says, "Cosmetics, conversation-piece clothes, and jewelry--though
extraverted Sensing accoutrements--are often used to manipulate others to
affect the feelings of others toward the person wearing them." I
interpret that to mean that many times NFJs will "dress to impress" -- meaning
they will dress in attention-getting ways. (Not meaning tacky or
vulgar, but strikingly -- often attractive and well put-together.)
noticed that I have a habit of noticing certain "trends" as they
begin to emerge -- particularly fashion trends. I somehow know what's
coming into style without being overtly conscious about it. I also try
to articulate when I notice something becoming en vogue -- such as
when people start blogging. Well, I
was in conversation with Linda Berens today, and she told me that was Ni
showing up. She called it "trending." Who knew?!
how a male ISFJ describes his Fe, and I find it to be eerily accurate for me
as well: "My auxiliary extraverted feeling's limitations include
a tendency to give a high priority to others' feelings while paying
scant attention to my own. This is not a workable strategy in the
long term because my negative introverted feelings, which I know will
usually not be welcomed by others, get shoved down into the shadow,
growing resentful and powerful in the dark. I try to learn to
consult my shadowy, Senex Fi from time to time, so that my Fe can proceed
with the recognition that my own feelings are part of the total
environment. If, however, I neglect my negative Fi for
too long, it explodes in an orgy of ridiculing and belittling my
too-solicitous auxiliary Fe. This can temporarily overwhelm and
disable Fe, and I then get into a lot of trouble by letting shadowy Fi
Thinking is noticeable in the INFJ pattern even though a "T"
doesn't show up in the code. It's because introverted Thinking stands
in the puer aeternus archetype position. A lot of INFJ descriptions
will note that INFJs are not as critical as they may seem. This
hypercritical side is the puer or puella aeternus expressing itself through
the process of introverted Thinking. It sounds crazy, but INFJs derive
a lot of pleasure from criticizing. (So I wonder what you
on the previous thought, Dr. Berens mentioned the other day that Ti can show
up as "I can make it better." She told about going up to
somebody after their presentation with a list of suggestions for how they
could improve. It was not warmly received (big surprise). Her
anecdote caused me to swallow back some "suggestions" I had for
coaching a friend of mine around his presentation. :-O
often suffer from "foot in mouth" disease due to their
introverted Thinking. Coming from the tertiary position in the
"eternal child" archetype, it tends to be inflated or
deflated. When it is inflated, it is erudite, appropriate, and even
When it is deflated... ouch.
FOLLOWING ARE SOME EXAMPLES
I went to lunch once with Dr. John Beebe,
who offered to pay his share at the end. I meant to say, "over my dead
body," but I said "drop dead" instead. Oops.
I wanted to help out a teleclass leader one time, so I posted an ad for her
class to a coaching board. I went out of my way to get the right dates
and times and all the info correct about the class. Then I bumbled her
name. Somehow "Ricki Rush" became "Ricki Lake"
(the actress). Oops.
I gave a presentation to high school students on Temperament, and I used the
movie "The Matrix" as my theme. One of the kids really got
into the "Matrix" notion, and pretended to be one of the
characters. I took the wind out of his sails when I accidentally
called him "Nemo" (from "Finding Nemo," the Disney kids'
movie with animated fish) instead of "Neo," the name of the Keanu
Reeves character he was pretending to emulate. Oops.
Around the time of 9/11, my husband was in New Jersey, and email was our
primary form of contact. Using email I reached out to him, and also
attempted to reach out to others who might be longing for connection.
Well, I didn't use the BCC feature for some reason, and one of my
correspondents copied all my email recipients and began sending them
tasteless material. Somehow I was provoked into sending out an email
asking people not to "hijack" my email list. It was a very
unfortunate use of the term under the circumstances, and I was called to
account by one of my recipients. Oops.
On a professional email list, I confused the heroic Mexican-American labor
activist Cesar Chavez with the Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez. Oops.
* * *