If
you look at life one way, there is always cause for alarm.
-Elizabeth Bowen
*
One
way to think about perspectives is as a series of frames. Each time we
adopt a particular point of view, we frame the things around us so that we can
categorize them, understand them, and respond to them. When listening to
anyone's opinion, always bear in mind that the description is created from a
particular viewpoint. (This is especially true when an individual is stuck
with what seems like an irredeemable problem.)
Re-framing
is something INFJs do naturally. It is a component of the diplomatic skill
set. Re-framing is a way of changing perspectives and looking at a problem from a different angle.
Here
are some typical frames one is liable to encounter:
| Defining
Frames |
| Type of Frame |
Definition |
| Problem Frame |
When everything is seen as a problem |
| Learning Frame |
When everything is seen as a learning opportunity. |
| Detail Frame |
When the focus is on one element of an issue. |
| Big Picture Frame |
When the focus is on the whole issue. |
| Personal Frame |
When you focus only on what is happening to you. |
| Team Frame |
When you notice how events affect the team. |
| Conflict Frame |
When the focus is on disagreement. |
| Negotiation Frame |
When the focus is on resolving conflict. |
When an
issue appears to be an insurmountable problem, it is useful to view issues
through another frame so they can be seen as a challenging goal or as part of a
bigger picture. Here are some useful methods to achieve re-framing:
Problem
Frame to Learning Frame
"What can we do about that?" |
Detail
Frame to Big Picture
"Can we step back from this for a moment?" |
Personal
Frame to Team Frame
"What is best for the team?" |
Conflict
Frame to Negotiation Frame
"What do you think would motivate them?" |
Really
powerful re-framing can result in paradigm shifts. These can be
life-changing experiences.
I got to
hear an INFJ analyst speak about personality type the other day, and he gave me
a re-frame that was compelling. He described an engaged couple he was
counseling. And he said that they were experiencing differences in their
relationship which were causing friction. The "J" in the
relationship was adopting a superior attitude toward the "P," and was
trying to "parent" them into demonstrating more organization.
The analyst said the "P" could get lost between the front door and the
car... and he said that the "J" was jealous of never being able to get
lost inside such a short distance! And wouldn't it be so nice to follow
your own nose to the degree that you could get lost in such a small space!
Wow -- what
a powerful way to re-frame an interpersonal conflict. (It's an amazing way
to re-frame every one of our functions and behaviors!) I remembered how
I'm upset with a person who has repeatedly lied and blithely exaggerated their
experiences/credentials -- and I suddenly realized that deep down I wish I could
simply lie and exaggerate about myself that way. It's no fun to insist on
a standard of integrity!
The idea
that I could be jealous of the liar took me by storm, and I suddenly
"got it."
* * *
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