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The point here is that we can sense how others are feeling toward us. Given a little time, we can always tell when we're being coped with, manipulated, or outsmarted. We can always detect the hypocrisy. We can always feel the blame concealed beneath veneers of niceness. And we typically resent it. It won't matter if the other person tries... sitting on the edge of the chair to practice active listening, inquiring about family members in order to show interest, or using any other skill learned in order to be more effective. What we'll know and respond to is how that person is regarding us when doing those things.

-From Leadership and Self-Deception, by The Arbinger Institute



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