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Martyr Assessment

DIRECTIONS: To complete the assessment, please click on the check box next to the questions to which you wish to answer "Yes." Just check the answer that most quickly and naturally comes to you. There are no right or wrong answers. You are assessing yourself in relation to your own standards.

1. People can usually figure out what I want from the clues I give them.
2. I know that if only a certain person would change, I could get on with my life.
3. My motto is, "My children come first."
4. If I cannot think of a reason why I cannot help someone, I say I will do it.
5. Whenever something goes wrong, I find myself apologizing.
6. I believe when people say things that hurt others, they don't really mean to.
7. I would rather do a job myself than worry about someone getting around to it.
8. If I end up with free time, I don't know what to do with myself.
9. I believe many people could be helped if only they felt loved.
10. I am very generous and lend or give without thinking.
11. No matter what problem I am facing, I can always think of someone else who is worse off than I am.
12. I keep a flexible schedule so that I am able to rally myself quickly around whatever comes up.
13. If someone treats me unfairly, I am able to overlook it and give them the benefit of the doubt.
14. I am thankful I don't have many needs and I am just fine.
15. I try to make everyone's day smooth and happy.
16. I mean to exercise, but in fact, I rarely get to it.
17. It is easy for me to underestimate the financial, time or energy costs of something I say I will do.
18. I feel so fortunate to be healthy when everyone around me has health problems.
19. People around me know that the only time I don't follow through is if I am sick.
20. My personal appearance doesn't matter much to me. Itís whatís on the inside that counts.
21. When someone gives me a gift I usually think or say, "You shouldnít have."
22. I don't want to upset other people, so I am very careful what I say.
23. I have a long list of "Things To Do."
24. I want to be there when someone needs me.
25. I really donít have goals, I believe in living day to day.

The purpose of this assessment is to raise awareness within ourselves about beliefs and patterns we may have developed that are no longer serving our best interests.

It is amazing how easily and subtly martyr tendencies sneak into our lives and become normal for our everyday living.  Answering "Yes" to even a few of these questions may indicate a level of awareness, desire, and readiness to make important changes in your self-care approach.  Good for you!  Let's take back our vital energy and sense of self!