Should But Try

The language we use influences how we think and vice versa. Let me explain what I mean by this.

Should - I believe this word drags us down and we often feel "less than good enough." For instance, we often say to ourselves, "I should get that laundry done." There is such heaviness in those words. Read this and see what you think. "I could get the laundry done." See the difference? Hear the lightness? When we use the word could we imply choice. It is much more powerful for us to be at choice rather than coming from a place of "less than," which diminishes us in some way. I encourage you to change should to could, want to, don't want to, choose to, or choose not to, and notice the difference. These words are much more liberating, light, powerful, and forward-moving.

But - When we use this word we diminish or dismiss what we have said before "but," which is often not our intention. Again, an example. "I really like my work but I don't like my boss." It takes us away, mentally, from the fact that we like our work. We focus on the negative, the boss. It also limits our thinking when our energy is focused on the negative. Here's the flipside. "I really like my work and I don't like my boss." See and feel the difference, the shift in your thinking? There are two facts here: you like your work and you don't like your boss. When we put the word and in there we open up possibilities for our thinking. It may help us to get to "I wonder what I can do about this?" or "what are my options?" rather than feeling and thinking like a victim.

Try - I believe when we use this word we are holding ourselves "small and incapable" and we are letting ourselves off the hook by not taking responsibility in case things don't go as planned. An example might be: "I will try and get the report done by October 5." October 5 comes around and the report is not done and you say, "Well, I tried." Now what does that really mean? That you spent five hours on it and ran out of time? That you never gave it a thought? That you found out you needed more information to complete it than you had anticipated? Frankly, I think it is a cop-out. Instead, you could say, "I will get the report done by October 5 and when October 5 rolls around and the report is not completed you will have an answer, not an excuse, why the report wasn't finished and you will negotiate further action. Make sense? Instead of try, use words like will, could, cannot, won't, choose to. You get the drift. You and others will hold you more capable. You will see and experience a difference. I guarantee it.

-by Coach Linda Oprica