The language we use influences how we think and
vice versa. Let
me explain what I mean by this.
Should - I believe this word drags us down and we often feel "less than
good enough." For instance, we often say to ourselves, "I should get
that laundry done." There is such heaviness in those words. Read this and
see what you think. "I could get the laundry done." See the
difference? Hear the lightness? When we use the word could we imply
choice. It is much more powerful for us to be at choice rather than coming from
a place of "less than," which diminishes us in some way. I encourage
you to change should to could, want to, don't want to,
choose to, or choose not to,
and notice the difference. These words are much more liberating, light, powerful,
and forward-moving.
But - When we use this word we diminish or dismiss what we have said before
"but," which is often not our intention. Again, an example. "I
really like my work but I don't like my boss." It takes us away, mentally,
from the fact that we like our work. We focus on the negative, the boss. It also
limits our thinking when our energy is focused on the negative. Here's the
flipside. "I really like my work and I don't like my boss." See and
feel the difference, the shift in your thinking? There are two facts here: you
like your work and you don't like your boss. When we put the word and in there we open up possibilities for our thinking. It may help
us to get to "I wonder what I can do about this?" or "what are my
options?" rather than feeling and thinking like a victim.
Try - I believe when we use this word we are holding ourselves "small and
incapable" and we are letting ourselves off the hook by not taking
responsibility in case things don't go as planned. An example might be: "I
will try and get the report done by October 5." October 5 comes around and the
report is not done and you say, "Well, I tried." Now what does that
really mean? That you spent five hours on it and ran out of time? That you never
gave it a thought? That you found out you needed more information to complete it
than you had anticipated? Frankly, I think it is a cop-out. Instead, you could
say, "I will get the report done by October 5 and when October 5 rolls around and
the report is not completed you will have an answer, not an excuse, why the
report wasn't finished and you will negotiate further action. Make sense?
Instead of try, use words like will, could, cannot, won't,
choose to. You get
the drift. You and others will hold you more capable. You will see and
experience a difference. I guarantee it.
-by
Coach Linda Oprica
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